Chad “Forever Grateful”

I don’t hate much in life… I have found hate to be such a wasted feeling, a draining emotion that gets me no where but I do hate one thing; I hate cancer.  Cancer – a devastating reality, a mean tyrant that all too often has its way and did.  After a four year battle, cancer won and took our youngest child, Chad, my protector, my husband’s buddy, his sisters’ partner-in-cr imes, their best friend, our family comedian.  Our hearts are broken; our lives will never be the same. We are no longer a complete family… there is an important part of our family completeness missing; we all feel crippled and forever scarred.

My reason for writing this article is that I hope, in some small way, I can bring you some sense of comfort.  I could tell you Chad’s story, about how this amazing kid, so full of life, so loving, funny, and kind (an all-around wonderful child) faced cancer with such bravery and determination to beat this monster  but then I know all of you have wonderful children who displayed unbelievable courageousness but also met the fate Chad did.

Your search of this website tells me you are incredible… like your child.  You have found the strength to search for help and support at a time when you are devastated.  I am sure it is hard to even breath at times, to get out of bed, to find the strength to put one foot in front of the other and log onto a computer attempting to find some help.

I would like to share with you a quote from the book “My Sister’s Keeper”  by Jodi Picoult that sums up how I feel we parents of children dealt the cancer card struggled each and every day… “It seems to me, now that this is more than just a hypothetical, that a parent falls one of two ways when told a child has a fatal disease. Either you dissolve into a puddle, or you take the blow on the cheek and force yourself to lift your face again for more.”  Your searching this website tells me that you, like your child, are taking the blows time and time again but that you have chosen to lift yourselves up to face whatever life has thrown at you and that you want to go on. What a wonderful tribute to your child that through all their suffering and display of strength you have found incredible strength to go on and become involved in a group NO ONE wants to be a member of but are willing to join  in the hope of finding answers, strength, peace, and shoulders to cry and lean on.

Message to share with other families:

I know we are not the first parents to lose a child, but we are the parent who lost OUR child and that makes all the difference.  Chad would say, “It is what it is Mom.”  I wish to be a part of this group because I am hoping, with your help, I can find out just what “it is.”  In closing I wish to share a Thornton Wilder quote, “The greatest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude.”  I am forever grateful that Chad was and still is in my life.

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